Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

And we say that we are working hard!!!

And we say that we are working hard!!!


Stop Child Labour.

Pls dont be lazy to fwd dis from ur Air conditioned cubicle sitting in a cozy wheel chair as u can see some r not gifted with a comfortable life as u are…

Categories: Life

How to Say No and Be Respected Without Feeling Guilty

Do you make the following common mistakes when saying no?
1. You become argumentative. Solution: say no and shut your mouth. There’s no point worsening the situation.
2. You interrupt. Solution: listen to the person first.
3. You lose respect. Solution: think of something you like about the person. A disrespectful person doesn’t mean you need to reciprocate secondary behavior.
4. You endure the unnecessary. Solution: call your national emergency number for serious situations or walk away.
Body Language – Saying No May Be Unnecessary. When someone’s verbal statement and body language conflict, you can bet people will accept the message sent through body language as truth

10 Proven Ways to Say No

There are many ways to say no that I’m about to describe below. You can choose a version you think is best for the situation without tying yourself to specific words and phrases that most articles on this topic advise because the following variations to say no are concepts, not word-for-word statements to mirror:

Plain No. Guess what this one involves? All you do is say no and move on. It is the least effective method, but this stock technique can work in simple situations.

Mirroring No. This variation involves sympathy where you communicate an understanding of the person’s situation, then follow it with your declining statement. Understanding people increases persuasive power. Let’s say your child’s sports coach asks you to be the team manager. You could respond with a “mirroring no” by saying, “I understand you’re after a team manager. It must be tough trying to organize the team, but I won’t be the team manager this season.”

If you do not understand someone, the person feels disconnected from you because we value those who understand our situation, feelings, and point of view. A misunderstood requester reasons to oneself, “You don’t understand me so you don’t understand the situation. I better keep bugging you until you do.”

Reason-Why No. One Harvard psychologist in a study gave his partner in crime a stack of papers to photocopy. The subject was told to try and jump the photocopying queue through one of two statements. When the subject said, “Excuse me, I’ve got five pages. May I jump in and use the machine?” 60% of the time people complied. When the subject said, “May I jump in and use the machine because I’m in a rush”, 94% of the time people complied. The researchers discovered that providing a reason with a request increases compliance.

“Providing a reason with a request increases compliance.”

If a charity worker asks for a donation, you can say, “No I won’t donate because I’ve donated to another organization last week” or “No I won’t donate because I don’t want to”. Reread the second example and you will notice something peculiar: the reason provides no new information just like “I’ve got five pages”. Everyone in the photocopying line has pages to print, yet giving a reason makes the request more persuasive because we comply more often when a reason is given. (I just used the technique on you!)

The requester may use a similar variation of this technique on you. Be wary of the person who gives a reason for their request to stop yourself getting sucked into a situation you want to avoid.

Also, use the reason-why technique in combination with assertive body language and another variation of saying no to really pump up your assertive power.

General No. The “general no” prevents the requester feeling isolated and picked on. This variation is great for people who request money. A friend asks you for a loan to which you reply, “Sorry, I won’t. I don’t lend money to people.”

Delayed No. Simply say, “I’ll get back to you at a later time.” Meanwhile, the person may find someone else to do the job or the problem may solve itself. You also give yourself time to think of what to say if the person makes the same request later on. The “delayed no” technique is great if you’re a manager, entrepreneur, or team leader when someone drags you from an important task. People often solve their own problems and only come to you because you’ve willingly helped them in the past.

Conditional No. State the conditions that govern you accepting the appeal. Decline if the conditions are not met. Only use this technique if you are willing to accept the request because the person may align their initial request with your listed conditions. As an example of the conditional no, your boss asks you to work overtime to which you reply, “I can work overtime, but only for one hour. If an hour isn’t good enough, I’ll have to say no.”

Painful No. Emphasize the future pain the person would experience if you decline the request at a later time. If your boss asks you to take on an extra assignment, you could say, “For both our sake I’m going to say no. The quality of my work declines when I’m not focused on one assignment. I don’t want to give you bad work, hurt my position here at the company, and as a result, make you get someone else to redo the assignment at a later date.”

Solution No. Decline the request, then suggest someone or a work-around the person can use to solve the problem. As an example: “I cannot go out with you tonight because I need to work, but if you need transport, there’s a good bus service near the shops.”

Be careful throwing another person into the hole you were in when they might hate it. Connect people you believe will help one another and both will benefit.

Repetitive No. The “repetitive no” variation uses an assertive skill known as the “broken record technique”, which repeats a statement. Say the same “no statement” over and over until the person stops their request. The request usually varies in form, but keep the statement unchanged. Here is an example scenario:

“Can you help me move house this weekend?”
“I have to work so I can’t help you move out.”
“I really need help. Can you help me move house?”
“I have to work so I can’t help you move out.”
“It’ll only be for a few hours. Can you?”
“I have to work so I can’t help you move out.”

Respectful No. Firstly use one of the above variations to say no. If the person persists with their request, use the “respectful no” variation. Communicate your wishes for the person to respect your decision. “Please don’t make the same request again. I’ve said no. Can you please accept that?” Do this with compassionate body language to avoid coming across as aggressive.

Regardless of the way you say no, use the body language tips provided earlier in combination with clear values and an absence of defensiveness. Defensive behavior ties in with uneasiness and can include becoming argumentative and being resistant to another’s opinion. It helps to provide that “thinking gap” for a few seconds of silence to overcome defensiveness.

Once you have used the above advice, be prepared to walk away in nearly all situations. Someone could persist with a request only because you are standing there. Some salespersons are ruthless and persist at persuading you to buy until you move to leave. Salespersons rely on your guilt to stay with them until a perfect moment that rarely arrives signals for your departure.

“No” is not a bad word if you know how to say it effectively with your words and body. Stop seeing this assertive skill in a bad light. You actually hurt the requester and the relationship with resentment by accepting the person’s request when you want to decline it. Turning down a request you want to avoid benefits you and the requester in the long-run. If you don’t achieve that outcome, then you have something to be guilty over.

“May good luck be your friend in whatever you do and may trouble be always a stranger to you.”

Categories: Life Tags: ,
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